Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
