i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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