Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
