I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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