she woke up with a sticky ear
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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