I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i may or may not be watching the land before time
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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