he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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