tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
