are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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