I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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