I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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