you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
