I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
