butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
