I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
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