we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Boobs speak an international language.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
