She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
