she looked like the before picture.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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