More tranny stories later!
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
