its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
