Your tits are I can't wait for
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
