This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
