We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
