I can feel you judging me through the phone.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
