Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
