Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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