I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
my sisters under your porch take her home
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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