It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
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I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
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I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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