That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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