Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize