come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
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