its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
