I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
