Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
im having a threesome with these popsicles
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.