Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.