you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
