Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
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I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
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The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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