I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
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Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
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My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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