so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
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