So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Someone came in the potted fern
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
