I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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