Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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