I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
