Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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