You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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