this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
