I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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