Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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