with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
