About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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