i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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