I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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