you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
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He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
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I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
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