jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
