Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
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can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
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Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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