what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
