Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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