jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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