You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
