So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
