I think I died a long time ago.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
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My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
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Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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