There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
