so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
