Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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