you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
